Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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