I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
