You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
