im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
