Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
