so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
