I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's blow job season.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize