he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
