is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
