I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
