I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
being pregnant is like rehab
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize