But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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