You just made me feel so damn special
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
