dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
