Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
