Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I've blown a few things in my day
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
