Little spoons don't ask big questions
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
