What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
