you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize