Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
