New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
