I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
