why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
