the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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