Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
