You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
