Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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