Betty ford says i'm here all night
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize