it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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