Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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