we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
