Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
