I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
