I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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