Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
