trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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