would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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