I swear god or herbie drove my car home
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
