What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
