Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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