Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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