Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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