im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
