We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
