Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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