I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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