Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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