There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
