Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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