Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize