Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
