The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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