there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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