I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think my moral compass just broke
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
