I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
