How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
