I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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