you mean i was at the winter classic?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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