i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
