I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
