Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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