the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
