If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
