I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
