drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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