It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
