I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
