who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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