well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
