3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
