Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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