dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
it's great music for shaving your balls
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
