I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
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