well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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