We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
