of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
