I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
