Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
4 words: hood of his car
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
