It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
